you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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