She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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