Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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