so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize