Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Two words: nipple clamps
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