Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I use my feet as sexual weapons
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
