Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
