What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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