i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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