I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
