You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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