Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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