Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am naked and annoyed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
