I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dick very happy bro
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
