i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
