so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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