Duck Duck Cougar?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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