i think my tv is drunk
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
