are you still at the devil's house?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
