I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
