So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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