i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
