belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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