windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
