so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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