I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
