Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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