I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
