this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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