I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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