had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How does it feel to date your dad?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
