You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
