peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
