Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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