That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize