Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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