Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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