she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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