it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize