I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
