you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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