But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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