Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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