:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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