Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
