I wish I could teleport
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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