Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
