it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
