hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
