My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
