I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
