Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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