Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
