Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box