so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's like iHOP with fire
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole