I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.