I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
