I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
