hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
they need to just BURY HIM!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
