he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
