im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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