So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
