I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
